Home Is Where the Heart Is
by Tovely
Summary: Ziva on her first date since her boyfriend went missing. Will be back in a while with this story.
1. Chapter 1

**Home is where the heart is**

The restaurant was a very nice and served dishes from all around the world, it was quite small but high class, low music was played through the speakers and some couples where dancing on the dance floor while some just sat talking.

This day a pair of first daters was there both looking nervous as they both had been through rough break ups just less then a year ago, the man had divorced his wife for three years while the woman had lost her boyfriend for six years by unknown reasons.

"Hi. My name is Joshua." The man said with a smile trying to loosen up the tension that made the woman smirk a little. "But you already know that as our friend Timothy McGee set us up for this date." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"Yes and Shalom. I am Ziva." The woman said laughing at the mans expression.

* * *

"So you work at NCIS, was born in Israel, is Jewish and an American citizen for 8 years." Josh said with a smile and I knew Tim told him that.

"Yes. And you are an ex-author turned in to a cop, with Jewish-French mother and American dad." I said with a small smile as Tim had told me almost everything about him to me.

"Yeah thats about it." He said with a sigh. "Anything that Tim hasn't told me?" He asked nervously.

"To be honest I am not ready to date yet but Abby and Tim always put me up on dates with their friends but I am not ready yet." I said trying not show to much emotion.

"Its the same with me." He said looking down on his hands. "It feels weird to go on dates again after 13 years of living with the same woman and it feels like I betray her and my children Daniel and Leia." He said looking up. "What about you?" He asked trying to smile.

I didn't know what to tell him, the truth or the little white lie, before I knew really what to tell him my mouth started to speak.

"I worked with my boyfriend for six years and he was my best friend in the whole world then in 2011 we started to date each other and admitted our true feelings to each other, that we loved each other. A year ago he just went missing, he never came home that night and his car was found abandon two miles from home with traces of blood in it." I said feeling the tears threatening to come. "He called me and told me he would be late and when I asked him why he told me that it was going to be a surprise. When my co workers found his car they also found his surprise, 1000 red roses and a engagement ring." I said and started to fiddle with the ring hanging around my neck along with my Star of David.

"Is he dead?" Josh asked his face pale.

"I don't know but... but.. I... I.. hope and dream he will come back to me." I said almost chocking on my own tears.

"Ziva." He said taking my hand in his.

"We have to children that are five and four that may never see their dad again." I said and abruptly stood up as my sobs got louder and the tears came flowing down my cheeks.

I ran out of the restaurant hearing Josh call after me but I had to get away from here I needed to get home. Home to my family. Home to the safety. But sadly not home to Tony.

* * *

**Because home is where the heart is and my heart is and belong to Tony. Forever and Ever. **


	2. Chapter 2

Previously;

"_I don't know but... but.. I... I.. hope and dream he will come back to me." I said almost chocking on my own tears._

"_Ziva." He said taking my hand in his. _

"_We have two children that are five and four that may never see their dad again." I said and abruptly stood up as my sobs got louder and the tears came flowing down my cheeks. _

_I ran out of the restaurant hearing Josh call after me but I had to get away from here I needed to get home. Home to my family. Home to the safety. But sadly not home to Tony. _

_Because home is where the heart is and my heart is and belong to Tony. Forever and Ever. _

* * *

*

**Chapter 1 – Running**

I ran and ran not caring about that it was 2200 hours in late November and I was running with out a jacket, dressed in a black dress and in high heels while snow was laying on the ground because all I had in my head was that I needed to get home.

The tears and sobs was gone and was replaced by a hiccup and my heart racing like a mad man in my chest.

A car drove up in front of me stopping me from running and I knew who it was before he stepped out.

"Ziver?" Gibbs said as he came against me, the look on his face filled with pity and sadness.

"Why isn't he here Gibbs? Why?" I yelled dropping to my knees not caring that the wet and cold mess called snow soaked my dress.

"Oh Ziva." He said as he wrapped a blanket around me and picked me up and I knew he would notice that I lost weight but I didn't care.

I felt him walk to the car and open the back door and laying me in the back seat and covering me with another blanket.

* * *

The room I woke up in was well known to me it was Abby and Tim's guest room and I had spent the third to fifth months after Tony's disappearance in this room with Stella and Jacob as I almost destroyed myself if being left alone and now I was back to square one after three good months where I had started to live again.

I slowly got up from bed slipping my feet in a pair of wool slippers and putting a pair of Tony's OSU sweatpants, that once smelled like him, over my PJ shorts and a big OSU Sweatshirt over my sport/sleeping bra.

* * *

As I slowly made my way in to the kitchen I was met by a very cute but messy view all the kids, William, Samuel, Stella and Jacob, was eating pancakes with syrup and Abby was trying to get them to use their knife and fork while McGee stood for the making of pancakes.

"Mommy!" Stella squealed as she saw me making me smile as she and her brother was the joy and happiness in life keeping me sane.

"Good morning. Stella star." I said walking over and giving her a kiss on the nose.

"Mommy look." Jacob said giggling as he showed me his messy face and hands.

"Oh my." I said faking a shocked and surprised face. "Your one messy little boy Jacob." I said giving him a kiss on top of his hair.

"No I am Jacob. Jacob DiNozzo." He said grinning just like his father and that made my heart ache.

"Good Morning Ziva." Abby said smiling.

"Good Morning Ziva." Tim said flipping a pancake up in the air making all the kids say Ooooo.

"Good Morning McGee's" I said with a smile as I had the best friends in the whole world.

I slowly sat down but I felt the adults stares but what surprised me was Stella's eyes locked on me filled with concern and that made me feel guilty as my five year old daughter wouldn't have to look after me because it was me who would look after her.

"Mommy are you sad?" She asked tucking her hair behind her ears looking a lot older than her five.

"No." I said smiling. "Mommy is very happy to be here and mommy loves you all." I said wiping away a stubborn tear that had made it way down my cheek.

"I love you to mommy and I know daddy loves you to." She said giving me a huge and proud smile.

"You want some pancakes?" McGee asked me and brought me back from the sad thoughts.

"Yes please." I said with a smile.

"Grandpa Gibbs and Great Grandpa Ducky is coming over for dinner at 1900 today." Abby said with a smile.

"Yay!" All the kids yelled while jumping up and down in their chairs.

"I can make the food." I said with a smile.

"We are going to do it together because we are going to do a three course dinner." Abby said making my mouth hang open.

"Whats the occasion?" I asked still confused.

"We just wanted to do something nice for the child sitters as we meaning you and me will go to a spa while Timmy will help Gibbs and Ducky." Abby said grinning.

"We are going to a spa?" I said not knowing how to feel.

"Yes so we can have a little quality time and talk." Abby said.

And I didn't know what to do or respond so I just ate my breakfast.

* * *

We arrived at the Spa Hotel where we would stay from today to Monday morning making it two nights and now we sat in our room eating fruit and drinking red wine just relaxing as the clock showed 2200.

"I am destroying my children's life." I said looking down at my still full wine glass.

"Thats not true Ziva." Abby said and I could see her looking at me from the corner of my eye.

"Yes it is." I said angry at myself as I knew how true it was. "Tony would not like me to be this way. He would have forced me to go see a therapist and he would make me feel whole again." I said feeling the tears in my eyes slowly fall.

"Well then do it make Tony proud and start live again for Stella, Jacob, us others, for Tony and mostly for your own sake." Abby said taking my hand in hers. "And you know he will always be with you in your heart." Abby said with a smile.

"I will start to live, I will start to go on but I will never forget him because he is my one true love. Forever and Ever." I said holding on to the ring in my necklace.

"And we will fatten you up a bit because I heard from a little bird that he felt like he wacarrying a feather." Abby said smiling.

That made me blush a little because I felt ashamed I knew that I only weighed 45 kilos (99lb) and that was not healthy for a 36 year old woman who usually was very healthy and ate what she wanted and when she wanted usually I weighed around 65-70 kilos (140-150lb) or atleast I weighed that after I got Jacob and to the day Tiny went missing.

From that day, November 23rd 2018, and forward I started to live again, for the first time in almost a year I felt happy and everything started to return to normal until we started to get closer to what would be Tony's 51st birthday that was July 19th 2019.

* * *

July 18th 2019, Washington DC, USA –

It was just another slow day at work and we hadn't been out in the field in a week so when three FBI agents, with Agent Fornell in the lead, showed up at NCIS and went directly up to Gibbs office me, Tim, Abby, Palmer and Ducky got very curious and all of gathered in Abby's lab.

"So what do you think thats about?" Abby asked looking a little worried.

"I have no idea." McGee said looking confused.

"Well I have not heard anything from my friend Dr. Lane working at FBI." Ducky said.

"It was very long time since I saw Fornell." I said almost not even remembering when I saw him last time.

"I may know something." Jimmy Palmer said nervously.

"Shoot" Abby ordered.

"Well just a few weeks before um eh um Tony went missing a FBI undercover agent went missing along with two civilians and well a week ago I heard from a friend working at FBI that one of the civilians came back just like nothing had ever happened and all he remembered was the two good guys with guns named James and Carson." Palmer said hurriedly as we all glared at him. "FBI believes the two good guys are cops and that one of them is their missing FBI agent." Palmer said just as Gibbs stepped in followed by Fornell and the two FBI agents.


	3. Chapter 3

Previously;

"_So what do you think thats about?" Abby asked looking a little worried. _

"_I have no idea." McGee said looking confused. _

"_I may know something." Jimmy Palmer said nervously. _

"_Shoot" Abby ordered. _

"_Well just a few weeks before um eh um Tony went missing a FBI undercover agent went missing along with two civilians and well a week ago I heard from a friend working at FBI that one of the civilians came back just like nothing had ever happened and all he remembered was the two good guys with guns named James and Carson." Palmer said hurriedly as we all glared at him. "FBI believes the two good guys are cops and that one of them is their missing FBI agent." Palmer said just as Gibbs stepped in followed by Fornell and the two FBI agents._

**Chapter 2 – Traces**

We was to many to fit in the elevator so Gibbs, Fornell, Ducky, McGee and Abby went up first followed by me, Palmer and the two FBI agents. But when my elevator came up to the bullpen the rest of them was already up in Gibbs office and that made me worried, confused and a little bit scared.

As me, Palmer and the two FBI agents entered the office I could feel the tension and I could see that all of them had a worried look on their faces and with out thinking I gripped Palmer's hand in mine and he gave it a small squeeze, I knew that him and Tony was really close friends, almost closer than Tony and I was when we was just friends, even if Tony didn't admit it.

"Gibbs?" I asked worriedly letting go of Jimmy's hand as I stepped closer to him.

"Agent David." Gibbs said looking at me his eyes calm and his posture a directors talking to an employee. "As the director of NCIS I have the power of pulling you of this case right here and right now but" He said his tone getting softer and more friendlier. "as your friend I want you to be calm and stay calm under this meeting and not to draw to any conclusions to fast. Can you do that Ziver?" He said looking at me carefully.

"Yes." I said nodding at them all almost feeling like a little kid at the principle office.

"Good." He said with a nod. "Tobias lets roll." Gibbs said.

We all sat down at the Directors table while the two FBI agents stood guard at the door.

"In August 2018 this man." Fornell said as a picture of a man in his mid 40's with black hair and blue eyes came up. "He is a FBI agent named Harry Morrison born 1967, married for 15 years and the father of three children. Agent Morrison worked undercover as Carl Harrison and had a mission to get information about a pair of criminal brothers John and Eric Williams. "Fornell said as two pictures came up with two identical men in their mid 20's to late 30's with blond curly hair and gray eyes. "They are experts on fake ID's but since 2014 they have gone one step further and now days they steal other peoples ID's by killing them but we never have had a reason to get them until August 2018. Fornell said.

"Thats just sick." Abby said looking a little pale.

"Yes it is but one day they kidnapped Agent Morrison's undercover alias and that was when they screwed up because Morrison's alias was set up to be destroyed as soon as he was kidnapped. Fornell said looking at us all.

"Oh my." Ducky said as he shook his head.

"As Dr. Mallard already have understood they now had a FBI agents ID and that is much harder to even try to fake and that was our plan all along until they just disappeared from the face of earth. A week ago our FBI agent returned he just walked up to FBI headquarters and asking for permission to come in." Fornell said as a security camera picture came up of the same man but with unruly hair and looking like a hiker. "He called himself Hiker Carson and we let him in and this is what he told us." Fornell said as a interrogation video came up.

"_What's your real name and birthday? Carson?" A FBI agent asked. _

"_Harry Earl Morrison born June 1st 1967." The man said. _

"_Where have you been since August 2018?" The FBI agent asked. _

"_The first two months I was alone until November that was when I got a cell mate." He said looking directly at FBI agent. _

"_What was his name?" The FBI agent asked. _

"_We called each other James and Carson as he was crazy in James Bond and I am crazy in cars. We was kept in some warehouse in no mans land for three weeks then we was moved to a old farm in Idaho somewhere and to answer your question we never told each others real names only names we used undercover." Carson said with a small laugh. _

"_How did you know that you both where cops or agents?" The FBI guy asked. _

"_Maybe because we got our badges burnt in to our palm in our right hand. Mine FBI and James is NCIS" Carson showed his right palm. "You know James always jokes that we never have to show our badges ever again as all we have to is show our palms." Carson said laughing. _

"_How do you know that it is your badge?" The FBI guy asked. _

"_What have happened with you FBI agents since I disappeared? Have you gotten lazy because I can tell you one thing in a few hours James will be dead for real and then he have let them burn away the tattoos of his girlfriends name and children's names for nothing and he will have been tortured for nothing and then the brothers will come back and kill him!" Carson yelled. _

"_Can you name three of your undercover aliases along with three of this James guys aliases?" The FBI interrogator asked the very angry Carson. _

"_Mine. Carl Harrison, Jones Willis and Michael Teague. James. Jean Paul Ranier." _I gasped as I heard that named and I felt like I was going to faint._ "Tommy DiNardo and Tony Dinardo but one of them is from a book based on him and his co workers." Carson said looking straight in to the camera._ And that was when I fainted.


	4. Chapter 4

Previously;

"_Can you name three of your undercover aliases along with three of this James guys aliases?" The FBI interrogator asked the very angry Carson. _

"_Mine. Carl Harrison, Jones Willis and Michael Teague. James. Jean Paul Ranier." I gasped as I heard that named and I felt like I was going to faint. "Tommy DiNardo and Tony Dinardo but one of them is from a book based on him and his co workers." Carson said looking straight in to the camera. And that was when I fainted._

**Chapter 3 – Smelling salt and Good News**

Smelling salt. Was what woke me up and then when I opened my eyes I noticed all their concerned looks from where they still sat at the table and that was when I noticed that I was laying on the sofa in Gibbs office, I must have been out for a few minutes only.

"You okay Ziver?" Gibbs asked from where he stood beside the couch.

"Yes just give me a moment." I said closing my eyes and breathing calmly.

Stay strong Ziva. Stay strong for Stella and Jacob, I told myself and stood up walking to my chair and sat down.

"A week has gone since he came back and we know for sure that its our agent and when we went to the location that he and the three others where held this last month we found tons of fake ID's along with two badge." Fornell said as a photo of two badges came up. "One belonging to FBI Special Agent Harry Morrison and it was the badge who was burnt in to 'Carson's" palm while the other badge was a NCIS badge that we traced and found out it belonged to one Special Agent Anthony. D. DiNozzo at NCIS Headquarters in DC." Fornell said as Tony's employee picture came up.

"Oh my god" Abby said as she took my hand in hers.

"Did you found him?" McGee asked looking first at me then at Abby and then back at Fornell.

"They where held in an old house in the outer parts of Alexandria with forest surrounding the whole house but we didn't find them at least on we found but he was dead that was a civilian named Cory Jones 22 years old." Fornell said as the picture of a young male looking a little like the Williams brothers.

"So who are we looking for?" Palmer asked.

"For the moment we have bolos put out on Agent DiNozzo and the other civilian Alexander Scott and of course on the Williams brothers." Fornell said as he sat down.

"Why did they stay for a whole year and more?" Abby asked almost if she was reading my thoughts.

"Agent Morrison said that James aka. DiNozzo was badly hurt when he came the first time, he had a gun shoot wound in his shoulder and two cracked ribs, and that was why the stayed in the beginning but then when they both figured out they where cops they decided to stay and bring those 'bastards' down." Fornell said with smirk.

"That sounds like Anthony." Ducky said shaking his head.

"He just left me?" I asked out loud now being angry at him.

"Ziver he didn't leave you and you know that." Gibbs said looking at me.

"Well he didn't come back either because he always have to play hero." I said my voice raising. "I don't even know if I want him back in my life." I said and I could see their shocked faces and Abby's teary eyes.

And then I left feeling hurt, angry, happy and I felt so much that I didnt really know what to feel or what to think but one thing was sure the happiness in my heart was bigger than any of the other emotions. Tony. I really hoped it was Tony and in my heart I knew it was Tony.

I walked around the Navy Yard just being not thinking for I don't know how long when suddenly my phone started to ring.

At the same time in Gibbs office; 

Abby stood up to follow Ziva but was stopped by Gibbs with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"She needs time." Gibbs said. "Go down to your lab and rest and take McGee with you" Gibbs said with a knowing nod.

"Okay Gibbs." Abby said with a small smile as she wiped the tears away.

"Come on Abby." Tim said as he took his wife's hand in his.

"We will follow you to." Ducky said and got up.

Just as Abby, McGee, Ducky Palmer and The two other FBI agents was about to leave did Carlie, Gibbs secretary walk in.

"Director. The local PD called two minutes ago there have been a break in at your house." She said handing Gibbs a note and then went to sit down again.

Ziva's POV;

"Ziva David." I answered., short and simple to hide the turmoil in my voice.

"Ziva it's McGee." He said sounding calm. "We're going to Gibbs house there have been a break in." He said hurriedly. "Meet us there." He ordered and hung up.

Tony, I thought as I started to run to the car park where my red Cooper clubman was parked, could it be him who had broken in to Gibbs house?


	5. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

I'm sorry I haven't updated in like forever but I have had the two new chapters ready fro awhile but they haven't felt as good as the two first so I put the story on ice for awhile but now I'm back :D


End file.
